Carrion Captain's Crown

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A blog for Carrion Captain's Crown

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journal

Day one,
I arrived in Ravengro only just in time for Professor Lorrimars funeral. Unfortunately I did not arrive early as I had hoped and was unable to aid in preparing the professor for his final journey. I placed the prayer I had written on his casket, I am saddened that it was not wrapped with him properly. The ceremony was not uneventful as one of the late professors “friends”, a demon who calls itself Rominac, attacked several townsfolk who had expressed a concern over the placement of the professors remains. Lady forgive me, but I froze and did nothing to stop his madness. With Pharasma’s blessing I did manage to return the townsfolk to health after it was over. I must learn to act quicker or I fear I will never see home again.
There were several other friends of the Professors in attendance,
Valen, a quiet fellow, not sure what to make of him yet.
A paladin named Slickback, seems a good man, solid in battle. Not so good with the ladies.
Vannter, most confident in battle but is hideous to look upon. I’m sure the townsfolk will
burn him at the stake before he leaves Ravengro.
Tim the enchanter, didn’t get to spend much time with him.
Rominac, I believe he is a halfling fiend, won’t make it out of town alive. will most likely
kill him in the morning.

Day two,
Was awakened by Valen, only to find out the foul Rominac had attacked Tim the enchanter and Kendra for removing nails from a window. My hopes of spending the day in study, finding the names the Professor was after, were interrupted by that halfling fiend. Apparently he had seen a snail or something and needed the entire party to complete his task. We found the supplies the professor had mentioned in his note, they will most certainly come in handy in the days to follow. Thank the Lady, there was no one interred in the crypt as I had feared.
After gaining further insight into the Professors studies, I see the reason for the townsfolks concerns. Although I do not question his motives, He was Treading on dangerous ground. Was he seeking an alchemical solution to the undead in Ustalov? Perhaps tomorrow I will find those names the professor thought so important.

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Words spoken from a true ladies man

From DaveSoldavini:

I have better things to do. Like not be in Ustalav sitting around a dull village, not even an orphanage to go help the ladies at. At least the debt will be paid soon, and this Kendra Lorrimar! Thank goodness the ladies dig my funky self so much. She just can’t let it show in front of the others, I understand. This Harrowstone sounds interesting, I am sure there is no shortage of evil to vanquish within it’s walls and with the aid of Valen, Girgore, and Vannter I am sure it could be done. There’s a strange fellow involved however, a pre-pubescent lad named Rominac. I trust him as far as I can throw him, actually about half as far as I can throuw him plus twice my strength bonus without using my Dwarf Tossing Feat. He attacked some superstitious villagers at the good Proffessors funeral, and nearly dropped his casket in the process. Luckily the little lad is too short to have been much help and I was able to prevent a catrastophe .I guess when you are that small anything can scare you, even some villagers out gardening in a graveyard mistaking the good proffessor for a Necromancer. An unfortunate misunderstanding that could have been easily corrected. There is something untrustworthy about this Rominac, why the mask? Why send me away to find the group for aid then descend into the crypt alone? Why is he vandalizing Kendra’s house and attacking other guests in the middle of the night? And the matter of the books, strange. Too many questions, at this rate I’ll have to keep the villagers from burning him at the stake. If they do it for all the right reasons do I have to stop them? This Paladin thing sounded easy when my High School guidance counselor suggested it but it is kind of a pain in the butt. Well, I need a cigarette before prayers. I will have to finish this later.

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Dusting the broom with justice
It was a valiant battle, it raged for hours. The afternoon was wearing on when we met a most unusual Dwarf named Lazlo, I think we may have partied together back in Vegas during the 70s. That, however, is another story for another time. He was a friend of the good proffessor, traveling to consult him on matters most dire. His death seemed to come as a shock, although he quickly recovered at mention of the “The Whispering Way.” He seemed to share my…panache, penchant, call it what you will…for the slaying of the undead, so we manned up and set off for Harrowstone in a quest to destroy evil. There was the good priest and my trusted partner, Grigore, as well as Lazlo, and Vannter the dwarf eating snake thingy, what have you. We were a manly group, set out to do manly things in a manly way, and still be home in time for dinner. Our number was four and four was the number we needed to smite evil that day my friend. Evil found us faster than Aretha Franklin finds fried chicken, we were swarmed, almost overwhelmed by thousands of rats. The battle was long, the bodies many, Vannter snacked on them. I, of course, was glorious. Long may the bards sing to my glory. But, that was only an appetizer for the feast of evil smiting we were about to indulge in. We were attacked by a most nasty and pernicious broom; it was seventeen feet long if it was ten, on one end was a vicious seven foot razor sharp blade-rusted by the blood of it’s past victims, and it tried to sweep away the sweet dust of our righteousness. Let them call it what they will, a scythe or what have you, but I know a broom when I see one. We would not be swayed, for hours we traded blows. I took a short break for some Potion of Healing and a smoke. Lazlo, did some site seeing. Vannter and Grigore were relentless in their pursuit of divine justice. Then, our spellcasters ran out of spells. It was a dark time in the belly of the beast that only seasoned adventurers would understand as our mortality danced a wicked game of do see do with the grim reapers own house cleaning item. In the end the evil broom was destroyed by the mercy of the gods themselves, that and a blow from my Flail of Missing All the Damn Time. Now we are tired, I need a cigarrette and a beer. I wonder what is for dinner. Surely, there must be a feast in our honor tonight. Let the bells of Iomedae’s divine blessing ring through valley and mountain. Let them sing, “The Broom has fallen.”

Editors Note: Upon further fact checking it appears certain aspects of the afternoons outing may have been greatly exagerrated, particularly anything involving the Paladin Named Slickback.

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From the begining to the infected.

I have arrived at Ravengro at last. The past couple days of travel have been unfriendly in my mihiss haps of being a creature of abnormal figure… visually. But today is the day of the Funeral For the doctor . I look around in my cloaked figure. i know it isnt a good fashion at a funeral . but im am likely to be burned if i wereh to show myself. I look to see a few weird looking face’sss. never the less most human. I offered to help carry the casssket along with the weird bunch. we have a strange little person named Rominac all though small im sure he would make a good snack. Grigore a claric who is very fearful of things. everyone has there own fears but… he brings a new level of excitment. Slickback a paladin of nobal honor im not sure what to make of him quite yet . a sorcerer from a strange land . and the bow man elf Valen . we were the volanteersss to carry the casssket of the doctor towards his grave. We were stopped by some angry villagers. After there leaders first word was uttered the little man throw a dagger at there his feet hence for the farmers attacking. i slowly put down the casket and drew my ssheild and sword. I was aiming to only knock out the farmers for they were not skilled at fighting . after a few minutes we knock them all out. The cleric of the town healed them and skulded them for how foolish they were being. After this we continued to the barreil spot for the dear doctor’sss body. Afterwards the Doctors Daughter came to us telling us there was a will that her father had intended for us. We went to her house and in the will was listed 4 books to go to sperate people. We can only give them to these people at one month after the seal of the will being opened. Ssso im stuck with all of these people for a while a month until then we must figure out of the mystery of the doctors death and why he went to harrowstone and who was after him. On another topic the people i have learn to call friend are not hitting me with flaming pitch forks because of my scaley skin but i still have the cloak because i understand the entention of the town people if my true idientiy is found. so i search information about this whispering way. i found little about them. but at night is the time of rest that i need. near morning i am waken by the cleric saying the littler one who they refur to as a demon now,has heared something down stairs. I rolled my eyes and fell back to sleep. In the day time i search for more knowledge about the whispering way . i still find little needed. So in order to talk to the towns folk i wrapped myself up in bandage’s hoping it would help with the situations. but it only made it worse. after a while my friends slick and gore found me and said something about going to the prison .on out way back toward the house we found a tasty snack by the name of Lazlo. we then all headed toward the prison. at the prison we faught hundreds of rats crawling around in a room. it reminded me a bit of my favorite meal dwarf on a stick. after being hurt by these rats i wasnt feeling so well. Another thing we faught was a scythe that had two arms on its handle. After taking a while to hurt and kill it we decided going back to the town would be safer at this point.
I tryed a mask on that the little on has bought me i thought it was quite the mask it is used to make it so i can talk to people by scaring them less. but no body thought i was in a good enough disgusie. so i had to stay home with the Little thing . After a couple hours he segest that we go to the local bar. When we get there i see my friends they looked a bit pale but im sure nothing to bad didnt happen. for the next day we all rested. but on thusday i was able to help my good friends gore and romy with cleaning out the cemetary of weeds, children, and reanimating body parts all with a single hoe and sword. after words we went to check out the memorial for the prison guard and there was blood that . what sick person would do such a thing. After investagating this i felt it was a nice time to go to bed. after a couple hours i was waken by the cleric again. so i went with slick and got the sharuff and went back to sleep in my world of dwarf eating.

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The nightmare continues

day 4 in Ravengro,
The day began quietly enough. Our scaley friend Vantter and myself set off to visit father Grimburrow to try and repair our much damaged reputation in Ravengro. Unfortunately, that fiendish hellion Romanic tagged along and wouldn’t you know it, before we could finish Romanic had attacked the kindly old priest. luckily for us it was only a verbal attack, accusing Grimburrow of prejudice against halflings(like anyone in this town still believes Romanic to be only halfling). We managed to avert disaster by dragging the fiend off and tying him to a gravestone. Unfortunately (I seem to use that word far too often when I speak of Romanic) the sly little devil managed to slip his ropes and animate three of the dead and resting villagers. As luck would have it, only one attack us the other two turned on their summoner. I must say watching Romanic in battle only confirms my suspicions, for no mere halfing could dispense so much damage so effortlessly. Despite all the interuptions we did manage to get a fare bit of work done in the cemetery. Near dusk the entire group decided to go down and investigate the memorial by the river. Upon close inspection we found someone had written the letter “V” in blood on the statue (could it be referring to the late wardens wife vesoriana?). We hid under the bridge for a couple of hours hoping to catch whoever was marking the statue, but alas it was not meant to be. We made our way to our beds only to be awakened again by Romanic( does that foul thing ever sleep?) carrying a tied and near dead villager up the stair in Kendra’s lovely home. With all of Pharasma’s blessings I was barely able to save the poor mans life. Thanks to the quick thinking of our level headed Paladin named slickback, the sheriff arrived and arrested Romanic. Now perhaps we can all get a good night sleep without that fiendish sneak creeping about. I fear it was only a matter of time before he skulked into one(if not all) of our rooms and slit someones throat while they slept.

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The halfling and the hogtied man...

Damn it all but this is getting rather interesting. I am happy to say I have survived another unfortunate series of events. I also find it awkward to admit that I have eaten Wolf Balls, and that I like them. The last few days have flown by and have been most productive as well. The turning event came unexpectedly when the good Dr.s and myself were attacked by vile blood sucking ex-wives (or Stirges as they call them locally) at the local tavern. Their attacks were as relentless as a swarm of hippies begging spare change. After fighting them off and slurping down several salty juicy balls with tasty ales the locals began to warm up to us. It took a day of rest to fully recuperate and then doors really began to open for us, literally. First at the Town Hall where we were allowed access to the cities records and then later at the local school where the kids skip rope to a most unusual rhyme. Strange doors also opened at the local graveyard where our resident troublemaker stirred up the undead. Given his propensity for threatening to kill us in our sleep, or (at the least) cutting out my tongue, I found it strange that Vanteer would go to his aid. Perhaps he had hoped to snack on some ‘aged’ meat. A mystical door also opened for our Dr. Vulpes as well, who persuaded us to visit the memorial where strange necromancy had occurred. I thought little of it when we left the nuisance halfling there that fateful evening, and thought less of it when I was awoken in the dark hours to find him with a hog tied man bleeding in his room. Why I was not surprised that the halfling would have a hog tied man in his room I do not know, and must give more thought to that later. The child sized thing continued to insult and threaten me as I prepared to fetch the law, his death threat count far exceeds the silver in my pocket. I have come up with a new game, every time he threatens to kill one of us I will take a shot of whiskey, however, I may not be sober for the next month! I spent no time wasting words with the Sheriff as I led him back to the house. He was kind enough to allow me to assist him with his investigation and was surprised to find that the halfing’s words have a ring of truth to them. I was also given a brief reprise from him when he was placed in protective custody for a short while. Praise be to Iomedae if the nuisance finds himself needing more ‘protection’ in the near future! Given his propensity for foolishness I am sure this will be soon. At least he had the decency to not kill this man Gibs, the morrow promises to be even more interesting. I believe we are headed to Harrowstone before too long, I must look into renting a chipper should we be assaulted by hoes.

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Fear and loathing in Ravengro

Day 5
The day began in a most horrifying manner, our dear departed friend professor Lorrimar appeared at the door. It wasn’t really the professor but his re-animated corpse and it was sent along with several others to send us to the bonepile it seems. Fortunately we were able to overcome them in time to make it to the town meeting(which I was certain was a ruse to get us to the gallows or worse, the burning stake). Even without the townsfolk burning us at the stake, the meeting proved to be dangerous enough. Just after the good paladin offered our services to the town, we were attacked by flaming flying demonic skulls. Dispatching the skulls proved easy enough, putting out the fires they started not so much. We did manage to prevent the entire town hall from burning and that I believe may have aided us in gaining some small amount of favor from the townsfolk.

Day 6
My idea to patrol the town to find some clue as to what has been going on was a failure. We patrolled all day and found nothing. In the evening the party decided it would be best to go back to Harrowstone and seek the spirit that has been seen haunting the east wing. Why oh why did I let them talk me into coming back to this foul place? Upon entering the very first room the doors slammed closed and began to scream at us. Luckily I was on the outside when the doors closed. Using one of the eldrich glass vials the others were able to destroy the screaming doors. Lazlo then went into one of the adjacent rooms only to be attacked by a freezing spirit of some sort. Allowing the positive energy of Pharasma to flow through me I wounded the spirit and Slick finished it off with another one of the strange vials. Romanic entered the next room and was attacked by more of the flaming skulls. I panicked and shot one of the demonic skulls. Pharasma must have guided my hands, for the skull was destroyed. If we make it out of here alive, it will be a miracle.

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Praise unto the vanquishers of the undead
The final dying death of the undead dangles in the air as I write. Today, we touched the face of evil and came away even prettier than before. We are so awesome. I feel I have found my calling, for years I looked for it amongst unwed mothers and orphanage nuns. Now Iomedae has shown me the way and the way is the way of slaying the undead! I was lost but now I am found, I was blind but now I slay the dead with righteous anger. I may travel the valley of death but I fear no evil, for Tammy Fae Baker is riding shotgun beside me, her makeup my shield. Oh, where have the days gone? It was only yesterday when the odd knocking at Kendra’s door led me down this sweet path of rotten flesh slashing and brittle bone bashing. First fell the zombies, then I stood toe to toe with the lividity that was once Proffessor Lorimar’s corpse, but was risen only for me to strike it down with the great fury of justifiable violence. Like so many blades of grass underneath the lawnmower of justice I laid the undead low. Then I continued onto the town meeting, and into Harrowstone like a John Deere dealing death to the undead skulls of flaming. Somewhere along the way I pledged to help the town and made some kind of inspirational speech. I’m not sure what I was thinking, it just kind of happened. May have had a bit too much to drink. Really not that important, but I think some of the fine young ladies about were checking out my awesome Aasimar while we patrolled the town earlier today. On another note, our group seems to be coming together, we are a delight to the citizenry of Ravegro and a scourge to evil. I find myself almost able to understand the strange utterances of Dr. Lazlo. I was amazed to find he actually does make sense! Grigore may be a bit cautious on his own account, but comes to the aid of Vanteer as fearlessly as the lizard man faces down the faceless faces of death that come before his mighty menacing battle blade (and shield, let’s face it, that thing is freaking huge!). Then there is the matter of that little boy who keeps insisting on killing us, cutting off our kneecaps, or some such violence. “I’m a Halfling,” he says,” I’m a Halfling. You’re all prejudiced against me.” Not really little trooper, as it says in the Iomedae’s thirteenth letter to the fifteen followers of the sixteen ways on the seventh day of the tenth month in the year of four spotted cows-“Know this, that those who trip five year old girls are prone to falling prone themselves and who so doeth this in my name shall stand tall amongst the shoulders of the short.” Every time he seeks to abandon us I grow hopeful, but then he reappears. I look forward to ‘Laying Hands’ on him in the near future.
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Brent's Birthday Dungeon

Tonight’s game may or may not be replaced this week with Brent’s Birthday Dungeon! :-)

I present to you the opening scene for your anticipatory enjoyment!
__
You are dragged roughly, bound and gagged, from your prison cell into the king’s chamber. As the headsman removes the stinking bag that was covering your head, you notice you are in the company of other prisoners, also bound and gagged. As you lay on the floor, you can turn your head in your steel bindings just enough to see the king as he pronounces his verdict.
“For your crimes, you are hereby banished to Dungeon of Thule until such time as you retrieve for me the Blackflame Sphere of Annihilation!”
Without further ado, the court wizard steps forward and begins casting.
Suddenly you feel a lurching in your stomach, and the rush of air past your still-gagged face. As your chained body rotates through the air you see yourself falling into what looks like the crater of a volcano – if a volcano had gargantuan tentacles flailing from it’s sides and was made of a blue-grey fleshy substance. As you approach the crater rapidly you realize that it isn’t a crater so much as a maw filled with girating teeth funneling into a void of utter darkness.
Please roll a reflex saving throw, and don’t forget that in your bound and gagged condition, your effective Dexterity is 1…

I’m so excited! See you guys tonight!!!!!!

Brent

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